By Ilihia Gionson, 2021 Dole Caregiver Fellow, Hawaii
As we celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month, I reflect not only on my roots but on my family’s legacy of service. My father Tony, lovingly known as Pops, served proudly in the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. Drafted straight out of high school in Hawai‘i, he left one tropical island for another–a place where his face more closely resembled the faces of the enemy than those of the soldiers beside him.
Growing up, I didn’t fully grasp what my father carried from Vietnam. He spoke little of the war, but over time, I noticed the invisible scars: the physical toll, the emotional weight, the silences that spoke louder than words. It wasn’t until our family faced other hardships that I truly understood the long shadow the war had cast on his life.
Becoming Pops’ caregiver felt both natural and daunting. Across AAPI cultures, including my own Hawaiian and Filipino cultures, caring for elders is a deep-rooted honor, an expression of respect and duty. Yet navigating the complexities of veterans’ healthcare, benefits, and bureaucracy brought challenges I hadn’t expected. Every form, every appointment, every phone call felt like a battle of its own. But with each hurdle, I found strength among fellow caregivers and veterans’ advocates–my network of Hidden Heroes–through the Elizabeth Dole Foundation.
One of the most meaningful parts of this journey has been reconnecting with my father and his story. As we completed forms or sorted through old photos and documents, glimpses of his past emerged. I learned about the camaraderie he found among fellow soldiers, the horrors he witnessed, and the heartbreak of coming home to a country that didn’t always honor the service of his generation.
Caregiving has deepened my understanding of the complexities of identity and belonging that many AAPI veterans navigate. My father’s story is one thread in a larger tapestry of AAPI service members—from the celebrated 442nd Regimental Combat Team of World War II, to Vietnam veterans like my father, to the many kama‘āina (Hawaiʻi-born people) who have served in more recent conflicts. This month, I want to shine a light on their contributions, both on and off the battlefield.
Caregiving isn’t easy. There are days of frustration and uncertainty. But there are also moments of profound connection: shared laughter over old memories, the quiet gratitude in his eyes when I help him with daily tasks, the deepening bond between us. In many ways, caring for my father is my form of service, a continuation of the legacy he began when he first put on the uniform. It’s my way of upholding America’s promise to those who bore the burden of battle.
This AAPI Heritage Month, I celebrate my Pops and all AAPI veterans whose stories deserve to be heard. I honor the sacrifices made not just in war, but in the years that follow in the healing, the remembering, and the loving. I stand proud, as both a caretaker and the child of a hero.
